2025...My Year of the RISK

  Let's talk about New Year Resolutions.  I always fail at them.  I am actually working on a 11 year journey goal but from the looks of things, I haven't done nothing towards either goals.   So do I start over or do I continue... That is the question.

Update: Prince Charming said that I should just continue.  So let's do this!

Going Out of Business

 Joann's is going out of business.  I had to go.  I am an arts and crafts person/mom.   I had to go because of tons of projects open and a lot are not even the old stuff.  

So I took Prince with me because his major is art.  I wanted him to pick all that he wanted.  Usually when I take him out with me I find myself talking business with him.  That is the thing.  I don't want to push him but I do need him to do something.   Anything.  Why isn't he hungry?  Am I the only one hungry?   Help!!!

Anyway, Good bye Joann.  I just found you and now you are leaving me.  

Goals Dreams Plans Trump

 Is it wrong to want to comeback to this blog that I started years ago and I am still on the same kick as I was back then.  

Yes, I am a single mom still.  I am now a single mom of a now 18 year old son who has been diagnosed with autism among other things.   

I am still hungry. I am still a dreamer trying to be a realist.  How about that.  I am still scared to take risk.  Terrified!!!

I am starting to realize with Mr. Trump in office and pretty much everything he has touched so far is affecting me and my life.  Affecting those around me, which seems to be affecting me.  Ugh!!!

I am an overweighted stressed out very busy 37 year old female.  I have so many opened projects.  I hate talking on the phone and all I want to do is be free!!!

You know what I came up with.  All I want to do is find my inner place to work and clean my mind.  If you find this is where you want to be with me then great...stop by and say hello.  

Making a difference

  I don't know if I am making a difference.  I just know I need to breathe. This is for me, seriously!  I want so much and everyone around want so much.  The thing is, well, I think I became a people pleaser. Wasn't intentional. I have a savior complex.  All I want to do is save the world or at least those who seem to be depending on me whatever reason. I am going to use my time on this blog for a place to reboot, rebuild, think over and at least get a little piece of mind.

Background to the reboot

 On May 11th, while at work I received a stressful phone call from my baby sister. Choc. China Doll was crying, stating that someone came to her house to get her mother. Our brother was shot and rushed to the hospital. After all the crying and  confusion, my boss sent me home. After actually finding out what happened, my brother shot 7 times. He is still alive. He was known for selling drugs, probably in the wrong area. Hearing that the men who shot him, actually met to kill him made me feel guilty for not being able to help. My family is dysfunctional and really need more time to explain.

Basically, i felt guilty because I couldn't help. I have been living but not meeting my own expectations. I couldn't help my brother, so he found a way to help himself. Remember me telling you about my savior complex? I want to save the world. The guilt took over. I was talking to a co worker who had graciously talked me off a cliff. She was telling me all about self care. Oh how I need to do self care.  We both agreed that i can't help anyone without helping myself. Self care is what I am focusing on. Worrying about me first. You have no idea how hard that this is. I need to focus on me and my son.

So come along the journey...

Power of Mt Dew

 

  My choice of drug is nice size bottle of Mt Dew. People use coffee and tea. Even alcohol and drugs.  My ode to Mt Dew. So may possibly be the reason why I am overweight. Or it could be stress and depression. But Mt Dew is an important part of my day. It is needed although unhealthy.

My story

    

  I  started this blog when I first started my journey as a single mother.  I like a challenge and while I was researching other single mothers, I found that single mothers didn't just settle. They didn't wait for their Prince to rescue them. They lived for themselves.  As my journey went on, I found that time has gotten a way and new challenges a rose.   I stopped writing here.  My son, My Prince Charming, was diagnosed with Autism and other things. Found King of Kings, Prince Charming's dad, who is incarcerated. Deciding a future with or without him because he is incarcerated majority of me and Prince's life. What I am giving up waiting for him.  Will we really be together when he get home? Raising my son by myself. Having a savior complex. Me wanting to save the world. Me being a dreamer wanting to be a realist. My mind needs to be declutter. I decided to reboot and bring the challenges to  flourishing.