Started with a shower

Please don't judge me.  I know it is a disgust but I brought a house and I never took a shower in it.  You have to understand that as a mom of a child with special needs is hard.  I found myself exhausted.  I didn't want to take the shower.  I was so tired.  I know that is terrible.  I am still exhausted but I decided that I need to take care of myself.  So I did something for myself.  I have to do this for me.  So I started with a shower. 

 

Hit 100 impressions on Pinterest

 

Celebrating a milestone!

Pettus' Fidgets pin on Pinterest hit 100 impressions!

Pettus' Fidgets can be found and brought from Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pettusfidgets) and Trove Market (https://www.trovemarket.com/marketplace/seller/collection/shop/pettusfidgets-53). Come by and Say Hi.

#autism #IAMPRINCE #starvingartist #rebuild

Driveway fiascos

 I just don't understand!!!  Since moving in this house, I have had nothing but issues with this driveway.  I just don't understand why people won't stay out of my driveway.  My new neighbor who didn't introduce herself or her children to me, seems to keep doing stuff to my driveway.  I now have a car in my driveway.  I did talk to neighbor daughter/son, not sure gender.  I am giving the child til Wednesday to move the car out of my driveway.  It is crazy.  My mom just told me that I am not going to be able to live in my house for 30 years.  I will and I will do all that I am suppose to do.  I mean I am paying a mortgage and Just because I don't drive it is still my driveway.  

Conversation with GOD

 Alright God

I brought a house mainly to show my brother that it is possible.  I realize I was worried about someone wo really isn't my concern.  However my mom gave me mixed signals because I can't not worry about him and his bullshit when he is entangled in my everyday life.  

My house became my son's graduation gift because he really just wanted his own room.  So now we have the house and way too many people want way too much from me.  I am overwhelmed and annoyed.  

  In order for me to have some control of my life.  I need to take it.  I need to grab it.  I need to do one project at a time.  I am losing battles and I am really in by myself.  No one is giving me anything.  I am really over it.  

My son is special need  He is on a job employment list for OVR.  The case manager is shitty.  a coworker gave me access to another program.  My son is on the waiting list and now both agencies are at each other throats.  I can 't do this anymore.  

I think what the problem is, is that I am expecting like everyone else to do for me.  I want you to do the work.  I am willing to do the work but it feels like the tools are not there for me to play with.  So now I have to create and build a new life/world without the tools mainly no money and rebuild my life with nothing.

Am I officially I am deep hole? 

My "Reason"

 

Legacy looks like...

#autism #IAMPRINCE #starvingartist #rebuild

Blaque Buttafly

I took a challenge today even though I don't feel well.  I needed to do something for myself, so I republished my poetry book.  I always want to be an author.  I never really knew what that lookeed like but I made a decision for myself when we moved into this house.  Our dreams are no longer dreams.  They are going to have to fund our future.  

I am terribly scared.  I don't normally take risk but I have to because I am not loving the story of my life right now.  I know we are the author's of our own story.  What does it really look like for me?  It almost look like I am not suppose to survive.   

So today, I republished Blaque Buttafly for the 3rd time.  Writing and publishing is easy.  Advertising and making money is the challenge for me.  

So here we go...

 

Goodbye June