Wonder What's Next?

 

So I take pride in being the only one in my line having a college degree.  Recently mom told me that my grandmom has a college degree.  I am going to let that be.  I am not sure really what difference it would make for me.  I am struggling and very exhausted.  I have a son who has special needs.  He just graduated high school.  I am trying to get him through work and school.  He wants to be an artist.  Anyway, I will get back to that.  It took me 20 years to get my college degree.  I asked counselors and those who had the college degree, what can I do with an associate’s degree in healthcare studies?  I had 3 medical licenses and finally received a college degree.  Recently, I had to decide on looking for an at home evening 2nd job.  I thought I had a useless degree, when I really have a good degree.  With my medical assistant license, I am able to do medical assistant jobs at home.  I had recently applied to like 30 jobs.  I wonder what’s next for me?

25 Streams of Income

 

December 5, 2018

I always have goals and of course they always have deadlines.  I waited til I graduated high school to start documenting myself since my life was getting with no meaning. Or at least I thought.  I had 2 goals before I started the December 5, 2018 Goal.  I failed both goals.  I completely.  I kept going no matter what.  So the Goal I started was for me to clean up what I did in the 11 years while trying to love and protect my son.  So the goal was to come up with 25 streams of income.   To be honest, it didn't do any justice.  There wasn't a lot of money in all of this.  I had a lot of barriers or should say there were a lot of needy people who were in my way.  Of course no one gave that money back. So of course me and my son lost a lot.  In one summer, we lost $10’000.  Not ever getting that back.  So funny. We did eventually meet the goal of the 25 streams of income.  I am not satisfied with the outcome.  We earned the reward but the money was hard to come by.  Prince wanted his own bedroom.  When I started this goal, Prince was 11 years old.  When I completed this goal, Prince was 18.  He is 19 right now.  So in honor of Prince’s high school graduation, I bought a house.  It took me 19 years to do it.   No streams of income.  I have a house, no money and no streams of income.  

Summer Fun

It is summertime.  I have a little freedom till August 3rd. Yes, my summer is short.  The crazy thing is that I have so much life to do.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am a planner.  I am trying to become a realist.  I have been told that I never finish what I start.  Although my greatest achievement is graduating College with my Associate’s degree.  That made August 2024 a great month. Now I have to clean up.  My life, my son’s life, my house, hell even my brain.  My life is as discombobulated as my brain.  Time to have fun.  Summer Fun!

 

Survival Mode Year

 I have had this blog for somewhere to write and think.  I started this blog not with the intention to write and share with people.  I spent the whole year stressed.  Those who know me know that I have worked my past 8 years for a school.  So my years are worked off of the school calendar.  This past school year has been terrible.  Personal and Professional.  The crazy thing is I received a lot of praise because students’ attendance went up.  I recently bought a house at the beginning of the school year.  My son who has special needs started working at the same school I worked at.  That was a disaster and helped stress me out.  My brother and his children were struggling this year due to personal problems.  Financially struggling since buying a house and a thought of my son not being able to keep his job.  Side hustles not making sense.  Now I am working.  Fundraising grants and donations not working for us.  Also my son has special needs.  I know I mentioned that already but there is so much to my son who needs so much and there isn’t any information.  I feel like I need to vent.  Life is crazy.  Mom said that I should start writing like a journal.  So here we go… I guess I am going to have to play all the cards to survive.  Yes…according to ChatGPT, I am in survival mode.  I guess that explains why I can’t sleep.  I feel like I still need to ask the same question. If she can do it, why can’t I?

What next?!

 I have been having a lot of conversations.  A lot of them have been with God.  I am not religious or anything but I have been struggling in my own head since we took a risk and moved into our new home, me and my son.  I have a lot going through my head.  One of which is …I got my son through high school figuratively and literally.  My son is highly functioning autistic among other things or in the medical field, he is a level1 .  Well that alone says to me that life should be a little easier. Wrong!!! The complete opposite.  Because my son is a level 1 autistic now considered an adult, means that he is invisible.  To me that means I have so much to do and not a lot of time.  I am looking around.  There are so many shes that have been able to live through this.  There are so many shes that have settled.  And then you have so many shes like me that want to know what to do next.  God, I am not finished talking to you!  I know I got this.  I had for 18 years.  I just have 1 of many questions.   What now?!

Happy New Year!!!

I needed to challenge myself this year.  So I made myself do some work.  The word for 2025 was RISKS.  I reminded myself often that I don’t normally take risks.  I am almost certain that this year, I really only took one risk but any risk is better than no risk.  I took a risk, came out of my comfort zone and brought a house for me and my son to build in.  So as we move into a new year, I want to continue with the idea that I can do anything.  So I will be welcoming 2026 with the thoughts of just doing as much as my heart desires.    Thank you for coming along the journey with me.  

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

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