July was a chaotic month. I was getting ready to pay a mortgage. I had a plan. This is personal for me. Yet there is so much to do. Buying a house is now going to make me move because I don’t like going without. I have had more panic attacks and anxiety attacks.
The breakdown…
Income Breakdown
Main Job Pay $1’919.97
eBay $0
July’s Gross Income
$1’919.97
Estimated Expenses
Supplies $300 (ask mom for the invoice)
July’s Estimated Expenses
$300
Net Income (estimated): $1’619.97
Lesson Learned
Need to come up with a plan to start advertising
Ebay is the platform to play with. I have started posting stuff on the page but I haven’t started to sell anything yet. We need an extra income.
#StarvingArtist
I am working on this project. It came to soon. This is a project that I have been putting off for so long. My son wanted his own room for his graduation present. Well, I brought a house. So I have been panicking and screaming and crying about that I will be officially broke each month after I pay the mortgage for the month.
I have been trying to remind myself that I have to go through the process in order for me to feel at home. I find myself listening to my mom who sometimes put me down. She always find a way to say that my feelings is on me. Interesting right. Anyway, I usually panic and then figure out my plan to the solution. Now, I just realizing that yes I am going to be hungry but like mommy says I am going to be broke and in my own house.
Like the image above, I am going to adjust my crown and get my day started for what it is worth. I feel like that is how everyone around me thinks that I am superwoman. I feel like I should just get to the point. Buying this house was my sign that I needed some form of freedom.
I think this is my motto for the year! I am going to wear my crown. I don't have or want a King. I do have a prince that I love and cherish.
2024 was a hard year. Towards the end of the year, Great news! I graduated college after 20 years in and out with an Associate's degree in Healthcare Studies. Wow, a degree can't use. Anyway...
I have question myself. Actually there have been people who have made me feel... I have to be honest, the person that I want to be or wanted to be. I question my son often. How did I do? My son tells me often that I had a great childhood. I am pleased but I feel like I am not done. This is why I question myself.
At 38 years old, I feel like that I have not done anything with my life. This is a continuous journey. I don't take risk. I fear everything. I just brought house at the request of my son. The last time I took a risk was 18 years ago. I became his mother and he became reason why. I find that so many people challenge me by saying snide remarks and making me feel less then. Now I have a house, so now I have to take risks.
RISKS...I brought a house. That was a risk that I have taken recently. Now I fear I will be or my son will be come a starving artist.
I keep setting these goals and not succeeding. RISKS... as a reflection, I have made mistakes, I have been struggling, we have been struggling. My son has had pain and loss. He has experienced anxiety and defeat and so have I.
RISKS...
I find myself often talking about business. I don't have a degree but maybe... My mom said that if I can, go for it. The thing about is no one is going to do business with me, because I haven't done business myself. All I know is that I have to fund all my projects. Business Consultant...
I have been told by my mom that I am the one who feels like I did a disservice to my son because I kept letting people in and taking away from us. I guess I am fed u with the thought.
What made me think about it was that a friend asked me how my brother and niece were doing. My brother and 2 of his children were in an altercation that went left. The same brother who wanted me to include him in everything that I was doing for his children. So he could give an opinion when I spent my money. Or pretty much got mad because I told him I hate him in front of his children, yet my fat ass came running with our younger brother and my son to his rescue.
See Overshadowing.
This year is suppose to be about my son. He is highly functioning autistic with a lot going on besides that. Guess what...He is graduating high school this year.
Well...Like I said I am fed up.
Let's talk about New Year Resolutions. I always fail at them. I am actually working on a 11 year journey goal but from the looks of things, I haven't done nothing towards either goals. So do I start over or do I continue... That is the question.
Joann's is going out of business. I had to go. I am an arts and crafts person/mom. I had to go because of tons of projects open and a lot are not even the old stuff.
Is it wrong to want to comeback to this blog that I started years ago and I am still on the same kick as I was back then.
Yes, I am a single mom still. I am now a single mom of a now 18 year old son who has been diagnosed with autism among other things.
I am still hungry. I am still a dreamer trying to be a realist. How about that. I am still scared to take risk. Terrified!!!
I am starting to realize with Mr. Trump in office and pretty much everything he has touched so far is affecting me and my life. Affecting those around me, which seems to be affecting me. Ugh!!!
I am an overweighted stressed out very busy 37 year old female. I have so many opened projects. I hate talking on the phone and all I want to do is be free!!!
You know what I came up with. All I want to do is find my inner place to work and clean my mind. If you find this is where you want to be with me then great...stop by and say hello.
